Can you use some of the super sentence structures we have been practicing in class to create suspense for this photo?
I ran. The racing fox chased me. I thought I had lost it. Then, from the corner of my eye, I saw it. Scared, frightened, bewildered, the fox jumped at me. Earlier that morning I had seen it peering through the gap of two trees ready to pounce. I stepped courteously onto the patio as the sly, sneaky fox crept closer and closer. Then it pounced. If I had not walked onto the patio, if I did not annoy it, then I might have survived. Do you know how it feels to be chased by a creature? I do!
Well done Evan, great use of suspense.
The fox was staring, staring in a way you wanted to run. Slowly it moved silently, into the death screaming forest. Then as fast as a cheetah the fox ran.
Early the next morning the fox was there again, then again and again. That night there was a death curdling scream and the fox was no longer where it usually was. People searched for the fox. It was getting dark. Then in the cover of darkness it was there…
Great use of suspense Dennis! Keep up the good work and your writing will continue to improve.
The fox cautiously crept closer. The prey stiffened, sensing it was being watched. The fox peered through a gap between two trees, staring, ready to jump at any moment. It paused: silence. The prey turned again, busying itself with its nest. Carefully, the fox stalked forwards, whiskers twitching, muscles tense. It sank low into the grass and stared again. Waiting… Have you ever felt pure exhilaration? As you hurtled past on a roller coaster, or discovered something amazing? This was how the fox felt as it leaped forward to catch his first meal.
The gun fired, then he ran. If he hadn’t left his burrow, if he had listened to his mother, if he hadn’t been so stupidly brave, then he would not be hiding to protect his life. His eyes prickled with fear and he heard his mother’s call. Have you ever not listened to those who care about you? Those who have unconditional love for you? Done silly things because you didn’t listen? He had. Now she was risking her life for her son who didn’t listen. The crunch of autumn leaves and twigs edged nearer and nearer. He could hear it.
Emily, this made me tingle!! Great use of suspense and emotive language. Well done!
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