All the lights went off, all I could see was the candle lit place where the steel men stood. Suddenly but surly I saw them move! Yawning and stretching I thought I was dreaming but no they were alive and they were moving!
“All right there gorge?” called one of the steel men to another.
“Yes, you?”
“Oh, yes, yes fine,” he smiled then turned his head in my direction as I gasped in surprise.
Instantly they froze as they realised they weren’t alone. Had I imagined it?
Miss Fearn
15th Jun, 2015 at 6:55pmm
I liked your use of verbs.
Jack
14th Jun, 2015 at 7:24pmm
One day two boys called Dave and Declan went on a trip to meadowhall. Dave said “I cant wait until we get there”‘me to” Declan said. They both got off the tram and saw something unusual .They saw three steel men outside meadowhall. “what’s that” Dave shouted ” I don’t know shall we ask someone “sure” both brothers set off to ask someone about the steel men but no one would tell them . They went through some shops until one kind women told them they were three steel men melting steel. After all that Declan and Dave learnt about steel then went home.
Miss Fearn
15th Jun, 2015 at 6:40pmm
An interesting short story.
Frankie
14th Jun, 2015 at 5:57pmm
When I first saw the steel men , I thought “wow that’s amazing!”But now there just rusty men that creep u out just to scare u. Last night I had a nightmare of those very steel men , the smallest one of those steel men moved right in front of my eyes and gave me a scary look. I was so very frightened that I ran off , but then and only then I got very lost. I had run from myv parents they were calling me we both didn’t know were each other were. I got so very scared! Unfortunately that was the last time I ever saw my parents again.
Frankie
14th Jun, 2015 at 5:57pmm
Can it be made up because this is
Miss Fearn
15th Jun, 2015 at 6:26pmm
Yes
Miss Fearn
15th Jun, 2015 at 6:27pmm
Yes, it can.
Miss Fearn
15th Jun, 2015 at 6:26pmm
A good emphasis on how the writer might have felt. Well done.
Dani
14th Jun, 2015 at 5:46pmm
WHEN I VISIT THE STEEL MEN…
WHEN I GO TO MEADOWHALL I STARE AT THE MEN. THE ARE STIFF AS A STATUE. MY MUM TELLS ME OFF FOR STARING AT THEM, SHE SAYS COME ON WEVE GOT SHOPPING TO DO SO I SAY “NO!!” SHE SAYS “COME ON NOW WE WONT GET ICECREAM THEN!!” SO I SAY “FINE”. BUT I STAY SAT BESIDE THE STEEL MEN LIKE THEY ARE MY FATHER OUTSIDE IN THE FRESH AIR! THE GORGOUS WIND BLOWING HARD SITTING WITH MY BUDDIES THE BEST TIME OF MY LIFE! I WISH I COULD STAY THERE FOREVER! BUT NOT!
BY: DANI MARPLESxx
Miss Fearn
15th Jun, 2015 at 7:49pmm
Good use of a simile. Well done.
dani
17th Jun, 2015 at 5:12pmm
…
Katie
14th Jun, 2015 at 2:47pmm
I had just came out of meadow hall and I look up and see some men working. “Mom why are those men not moving?” I asked curiously “Well those men aren’t really real they are made of steel!” Mom answers
“Oh, why are they there?” I asked again
“To show everyone that meadow hall used to be a steel factory. Sheffield is very famous and popular because of the steel!”
” Wow!”
Miss Fearn
15th Jun, 2015 at 7:55pmm
Good use of speech marks.
Eoghan
14th Jun, 2015 at 1:31pmm
One day a boy called jack and his Mum went to Meadow Hall. When they got inside they saw 5 policemen standing around the jewelry shop then Jack saw a big hole in the shutter, the hole looked like it had been melted. After their shopping trip they walked back to the car and on there way out they saw the Steel Men. They were surrounded by Police tape and Jack noticed that all the missing jewelry was next to one of the Steel Men. All the Steel Men appeared to be looking at the jewelry, “how strange” thought Jack?
Miss Fearn
15th Jun, 2015 at 6:50pmm
A good story.
Laurie
14th Jun, 2015 at 8:24amm
When I see the steelmen I get so bored because my little brother Jack insistes that we have to go and see the steelmen everytime we are at medowhall. All they are, are statues that are steelmen boring. Now it’s worse we have to stay in the cold winter to look at them. I always think he won’t look at the steelmen. It never happens though he always looks at them. We went to medowhall today and I was in a bad mood but today Jack didn’t finally he didn’t look at them what was wrong with Jack? O oh!
Miss Fearn
15th Jun, 2015 at 8:02pmm
Good work
Jacintha
13th Jun, 2015 at 7:39pmm
When I see the steel men at Meadow Hall, I feel a bit scared because of one of them. It scares me because he has got a freaky look on his face. So I tell my parents to walk on the opposite side of the road. It sometimes makes me feel sick when I look at it. I hate the scary figure but I like the other two. If you look at the corner of the rectangle, you can see two memory rectangles. Can you work out the Steelman I don’t like? Try your very best to work it out!!!!!
Miss Fearn
15th Jun, 2015 at 6:44pmm
Good writing Jacintha.
Harry H
13th Jun, 2015 at 11:14amm
When I see the steel men…..by Harry H
When I see the steel men,
In the car park of Meadowhall,
I feel a mystery of the history
That they came from.
When I see the steel men,
In the car park of Meadowhall,
I see them standing there
Doing what they did last.
When I see the steel men,
In the car park of Meadowhall,
I just can’t stop thinking what it was like
All those years back,
When the steel men were about.
Miss Fearn
15th Jun, 2015 at 7:15pmm
Is this a poem? It sounds good.
adam
13th Jun, 2015 at 9:42amm
When I see the steel men, I am surprised by how tall they are. They are the size of real men and they are big! They are hard at work making steel, which is what Sheffield is famous for. I wonder what they are making? I wonder how they are feeling? Are they hot? Do they enjoy their jobs? Are they tired? How long have they been standing there? Are they making a knife and fork so I can eat my tea? Nobody knows the answers to the questions. All we know is that they are very special and I like them.
Miss Fearn
15th Jun, 2015 at 6:47pmm
Good rhetorical questioning.
Cicely
11th Jun, 2015 at 6:04pmm
These are the steelmen at Meadowhall, they used to be inside but now they are outside. My Grandad used to work in a steel factory.
Miss Fearn
15th Jun, 2015 at 7:45pmm
I’ve read the rest that you handed in. Well done.
Luke
11th Jun, 2015 at 5:30pmm
When I see the steel men I wonder what it would be like to work in a steel foundry or work with steel, I think it would be very hard and dangerous work, but cool at the same time.
Sheffield used to have many steel foundries and stainless steel was invented in Sheffield, but there are not as many foundries now as there used to be.
My dad used to work at a steel foundry, but luckily he did not have to do a dangerous job like the men in the statue who are working with the molten steel which is dangerous.
Luke Braithwaite – Year 4
Miss Fearn
15th Jun, 2015 at 7:07pmm
A good paragraph. Well done.
cameron
10th Jun, 2015 at 3:37pmm
When you see the steel men I think of the invisibles because they are steel and steel is really strong so it can hold a lot of things which is breath taking that it can hold so much.Steel is the best type of metal.
As night falls
All the lights went off, all I could see was the candle lit place where the steel men stood. Suddenly but surly I saw them move! Yawning and stretching I thought I was dreaming but no they were alive and they were moving!
“All right there gorge?” called one of the steel men to another.
“Yes, you?”
“Oh, yes, yes fine,” he smiled then turned his head in my direction as I gasped in surprise.
Instantly they froze as they realised they weren’t alone. Had I imagined it?
I liked your use of verbs.
One day two boys called Dave and Declan went on a trip to meadowhall. Dave said “I cant wait until we get there”‘me to” Declan said. They both got off the tram and saw something unusual .They saw three steel men outside meadowhall. “what’s that” Dave shouted ” I don’t know shall we ask someone “sure” both brothers set off to ask someone about the steel men but no one would tell them . They went through some shops until one kind women told them they were three steel men melting steel. After all that Declan and Dave learnt about steel then went home.
An interesting short story.
When I first saw the steel men , I thought “wow that’s amazing!”But now there just rusty men that creep u out just to scare u. Last night I had a nightmare of those very steel men , the smallest one of those steel men moved right in front of my eyes and gave me a scary look. I was so very frightened that I ran off , but then and only then I got very lost. I had run from myv parents they were calling me we both didn’t know were each other were. I got so very scared! Unfortunately that was the last time I ever saw my parents again.
Can it be made up because this is
Yes
Yes, it can.
A good emphasis on how the writer might have felt. Well done.
WHEN I VISIT THE STEEL MEN…
WHEN I GO TO MEADOWHALL I STARE AT THE MEN. THE ARE STIFF AS A STATUE. MY MUM TELLS ME OFF FOR STARING AT THEM, SHE SAYS COME ON WEVE GOT SHOPPING TO DO SO I SAY “NO!!” SHE SAYS “COME ON NOW WE WONT GET ICECREAM THEN!!” SO I SAY “FINE”. BUT I STAY SAT BESIDE THE STEEL MEN LIKE THEY ARE MY FATHER OUTSIDE IN THE FRESH AIR! THE GORGOUS WIND BLOWING HARD SITTING WITH MY BUDDIES THE BEST TIME OF MY LIFE! I WISH I COULD STAY THERE FOREVER! BUT NOT!
BY: DANI MARPLESxx
Good use of a simile. Well done.
…
I had just came out of meadow hall and I look up and see some men working. “Mom why are those men not moving?” I asked curiously “Well those men aren’t really real they are made of steel!” Mom answers
“Oh, why are they there?” I asked again
“To show everyone that meadow hall used to be a steel factory. Sheffield is very famous and popular because of the steel!”
” Wow!”
Good use of speech marks.
One day a boy called jack and his Mum went to Meadow Hall. When they got inside they saw 5 policemen standing around the jewelry shop then Jack saw a big hole in the shutter, the hole looked like it had been melted. After their shopping trip they walked back to the car and on there way out they saw the Steel Men. They were surrounded by Police tape and Jack noticed that all the missing jewelry was next to one of the Steel Men. All the Steel Men appeared to be looking at the jewelry, “how strange” thought Jack?
A good story.
When I see the steelmen I get so bored because my little brother Jack insistes that we have to go and see the steelmen everytime we are at medowhall. All they are, are statues that are steelmen boring. Now it’s worse we have to stay in the cold winter to look at them. I always think he won’t look at the steelmen. It never happens though he always looks at them. We went to medowhall today and I was in a bad mood but today Jack didn’t finally he didn’t look at them what was wrong with Jack? O oh!
Good work
When I see the steel men at Meadow Hall, I feel a bit scared because of one of them. It scares me because he has got a freaky look on his face. So I tell my parents to walk on the opposite side of the road. It sometimes makes me feel sick when I look at it. I hate the scary figure but I like the other two. If you look at the corner of the rectangle, you can see two memory rectangles. Can you work out the Steelman I don’t like? Try your very best to work it out!!!!!
Good writing Jacintha.
When I see the steel men…..by Harry H
When I see the steel men,
In the car park of Meadowhall,
I feel a mystery of the history
That they came from.
When I see the steel men,
In the car park of Meadowhall,
I see them standing there
Doing what they did last.
When I see the steel men,
In the car park of Meadowhall,
I just can’t stop thinking what it was like
All those years back,
When the steel men were about.
Is this a poem? It sounds good.
When I see the steel men, I am surprised by how tall they are. They are the size of real men and they are big! They are hard at work making steel, which is what Sheffield is famous for. I wonder what they are making? I wonder how they are feeling? Are they hot? Do they enjoy their jobs? Are they tired? How long have they been standing there? Are they making a knife and fork so I can eat my tea? Nobody knows the answers to the questions. All we know is that they are very special and I like them.
Good rhetorical questioning.
These are the steelmen at Meadowhall, they used to be inside but now they are outside. My Grandad used to work in a steel factory.
I’ve read the rest that you handed in. Well done.
When I see the steel men I wonder what it would be like to work in a steel foundry or work with steel, I think it would be very hard and dangerous work, but cool at the same time.
Sheffield used to have many steel foundries and stainless steel was invented in Sheffield, but there are not as many foundries now as there used to be.
My dad used to work at a steel foundry, but luckily he did not have to do a dangerous job like the men in the statue who are working with the molten steel which is dangerous.
Luke Braithwaite – Year 4
A good paragraph. Well done.
When you see the steel men I think of the invisibles because they are steel and steel is really strong so it can hold a lot of things which is breath taking that it can hold so much.Steel is the best type of metal.
What about the man of steel?